Have you heard about the gold statue of Kate Moss? It’s in a British museum, and it’s worth 18 MILLION dollars! It weighs 110 pounds, which is twice what Kate Moss weighs. Kate Moss! Who’d a thunk it? I don’t get it about these skinny models, anyway. I don’t look at them and think “I wanna look like that!” I look at them and think “Eat something, you fuckin’ coat hanger with eyes!”

I’m in my 40’s now, and I think I should know more than I do. I wanna know stuff, dammit.

I wanna know where Baghdad Bob is. I think he should move here to the States so Ross Perot would have someone to play with. Remember Ross Perot? He was like George Bush on crack. He wanted to be President, and he might have, if he hadn’t made it so clear in his interviews that it was all he could do not to jump up and bitch slap somebody. He was so squirmy! Squirmy and Squirrelly. Sounds like a rock band, doesn’t it? Or my last few dates. Whatever.